Long Time No See

This is shit I've been pondering but don't feel like writing essay-long blog posts about. It's like a Cliff's Notes on future blog posts I'll never write. Plus I've got time to waste at work since I've done everything and I rule too much at solitaire.

1.//> In an extension to my post yesterday about how I don't like our troops, I'd like to explain the length of my support for em. Basically I see our military as our "special move." Like that 20-button combo you furiously pound into a controller in a video game. They are the world of hurt we unleash if our regular shit (i.e. diplomacy and otherwise being moral, smart, respectable human beings) doesn't work.

At the moment I support our military in doing the best they can in a situation they shouldn't be in. Those guys signed up for that shit so they're doing what they're getting paid to do, even though they - as the special move of our government - shouldn't be unloaded in situations like this that simply line the pockets of our corrupt-as-fuck politicians and to settle a score for fucking with our president's dad. I don't know exactly how to put that in a nutshell without it sounding wrong, but I guess I support them in succeeding in the job they were given, not because they are protecting freedom or some shit like that, but because they were fucked over by people who were abusing their power.

2.//> I don't entirely think there are double standards in men fucking lots of women and women fucking lots of men, at least to the extent people make it out to be. I think the difference is that men who fuck lots of women are pretty open about it. They are pretty easily identified. You can pick out thedouchebags in a whole gaggle of people without even trying. Women, on the other hand, have a tendency of acting like they aren't fucking lots of people, or they still act like they're above it a good amount of time.

My response is that you might still be called a slut by some assholes but those guys are pretty often considered douchebags, too. If you are just honest about it and not act like you are more dignified than that, you'll at least be an honest slut or an honestdouchebag. This applies to those whores who are VDing it up with all those soldiers. Just be honest and admit you wanna fuck some guys in uniform. Don't give us some stupid bullshit like you're "being a whore for America." You really can't justify with some noble-like response at being a slut, I'm sorry.

3.//> If you've ever been in a car while I'm driving, you know I cuss like a motherfuckin sailor. It's the only time I'll use some real bad racial slurs because fucker, asshole, fag, etc. etc. lose their punch after the 20th time used.

On to the point: motherfuckers, use your goddamn turn signals. Don't make me wait on your ass and find you're not even gonna get in my way because you were too busy fingering your prostate to flick your left wrist and hit the turn signal. And while we're at it, fuck crippled people.Yall just cannot drive at a speed that keeps traffic going. You always gotta practically roadblock that shit cause you're going 30 miles slower than everyone else. To this day I have only encountered one handicapped person who drove like a normal human who needs to fucking go from point A to point B should, and I salute that individual with every ounce of respect I have.

4.//> Fuck the WGA. Seriously. I supported them in the beginning because, hey, I'm probably gonna end up joining them sometime in the future since it's an industry I want to eventually work in for a livelihood. But now I'd like to fuckin see some new episodes of the Daily Show and Colbert Report that I haven't seen 20 times already. Notice nobody gives a shit about yall's plight already and it's been, what? A month or so since yall started? Fucking get back to work.

Lastly...

5.//> The new MadTV sucks. It sucks hard. None of the new cast members are funny. In fact, they picked all of the comedians that I thought were painfully fuckin unfunny so far. The ones that I change the channel from when they end up having their half-hour special repeat on Comedy Central. And the new format blows, too, as does the exclusion of Ike Barenholtz. Why ruin the show by changing shit that didn't need to be changed? It's why I liked the show over SNL! It felt like MadTV was a bunch of people who had fun making funny parodies and shit and it felt a whole lot more intimate. Now they're following the same SNL format of making it into some half-assed Broadway show type thing.

Goddamn unfunny Jews.

And that''s all folks! Weeeee!!!

Do I support our troops? Yes, I do. I am an American and they comprise our military and they are currently fighting against extremists whose only goal is to fuck things up for the innocent civilians of those respective countries. It's not as easy as to classify it as good vs. evil, but if there had to be a label for us, we'd certainly be the lesser of the two evils.

But can I say that I don't like them at the same time? A good majority of those in the military are what I like to call "assholes." They are giant pricks in camo and I'm not afraid to say that. They're like the football players in high school and college except instead of a football, they've got an assault rifle. Look at a picture taken of a soldier. Have you ever seen one where they're NOT trying to look like a badass?

I can't honestly feel bad for most of these guys because the military is a job. Gasp! They get paid for this stuff, granted it's not much, but they do. This isn't Vietnam or World War II where you've got helpless kids being given a helmet and a gun and thrown out there to defend good against evil. These are guys who choose to serve in the military.

Now they say that doing so is a noble thing. I certainly think it can be, but I highly doubt most of those soldiers are doing it because they believe in freedom and doing good to help the world. Most of these guys are doing it for recognition. They want to feel important. They want to blow shit up with guns, travel to places they might never go to, get paid and get an education they wouldn't otherwise afford because they can't pay the exorbitant fees associated with college. They just radiate this total dick aura that people buy in to like crazy.

And then you've got these women who SOOOO want soldiers and be that military girlfriend or wife for a guy that's "protecting our country!!11" Again, these guys aren't protecting our country like in WWII or any of that shit. Times have changed, idiots. You know what? Those women are just as shallow as some of those soldiers because I'm willing to bet my money that if those guys weren't in the military, they wouldn't give them the time of fuckin day. People like Liz (she isn't reading this but if she does, I don't care) who think they are head over heels for these guys when they're really head over heels for a soldier, not the individual. I bet if she actually put some thought into it, would she settle for being just a regular ol' girlfriend for a regular ol' guy? Would she even have cared enough about him to go out with him in the first place if he was working at Burger King or something instead of being stationed at Ft. Benning over another guy who was a soldier? Fuck no. Hell fucking no. They don't want to admit it but that's exactly how it is.

There's a word for women like that. Well actually, there are words. And it's not simply sluts and whores, cause sluts and whores are glad to admit it. They're they're kind of sluts and whores that are dumb as fucking doorknobs which is why they get diseases and pass em on to the next group of soldiers they want to fuck.

I bet you're thinking I'm jealous of those soldiers who are getting all of the recognition and shit. I'm not. Like I said, they're doing stuff I'd rather not do, and hey, I've got friends who either joined or tried to join and I'm still great friends with them. I'm just tired of the lies and the bullshit people put out to make it seem like all of this is something different than it really is. Call me un-American or un-patriotic. I don't care. But if you do, think real hard about yourself first before you open your mouth because I bet there's some startling realizations you haven't found yet.

I don't know. I don't really know what to say about it. It sucks.